A men.

I never thought loneliness could kill but here I am staring into my television night after night between these four walls with my body full of disease and I have no ears to scream into. I went back to the hookers I had slept with and they told me they were clean but I couldn't find Suzy. "Suzy," I thought "your killing me!" I asked Tiff (the black girl with the weird ass) if she knew what diseases Suzy had she laughed (can you believe that?) and said "Oh honey you poor thing she's a mixed bag she's got it all from the little warts that don't matter to the worst ones"

"The worst ones ?"

"Yeah, she gets real sick sometimes"

I went home and I killed time.

Staring into the tv I knew I wouldn't find Suzy nobody had seen her in weeks.

She was most likely dead somewhere, maybe they were holding a funeral for her somewhere in Kansas or where ever the hell she's from, where they call her Susan or Susanna and people went to school with her.

The television has turned to static.

My mind goes numb with an echoing pain,similar to when you hit your funny bone. I held my chest like a child about to cry, my eyes riding the wall searching for a friend to call out to, one who will recognize my pain. I think about my mother and my mothers funeral and how my dad fought his buddy Danny cause a couple weeks before she died he found out they had been fucking for years. My Daddy and Danny cried then they got mad at the sight of each other and they began to pummel blows there and then. The dead woman didn't stir just silent and cold like she was amongst the living. Woman are bitches, my daddy had to grow old with that shame, I don't know how long I got but Im gonna be living in shame as long as my balls burn.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.