Thursday, September 17, 2009

My children


I awoke at dawn. It took me a minute to come to focus but I soon realized I heard a tapping sound . I followed the sound down the stairs. Through the kitchen I looked out the window toward the grey morning , in the window's corner I saw a child's hand crusted in dirt that looked as if it was born from coffee grounds. It slowly tapped a rusty coin leaving a scratch in the glass. It occurred to me the hand could not see me and soon it would tire. I could return to bed but I didn't. I opened the window and I looked down,I saw about 8 children both boys and girls all under 10 years old look up at me. They were beautiful, dressed well but covered in the elements, beautiful blue eyes, natty hair reaching in all directions,they smelled of hell but stood with a sense of grace. It was as if they got lost months ago walking home from Sunday school. Little boys still wearing their ties and jackets with the elbows worn threw and the girls with their hair still held in ribbons. None said a word they just looked towards me with those soar, hungry eyes. I found half a loaf of bread that I handed to the boy with the coin, he accepted but did not look away from me. I closed the window and turned away to return to bed . I awoke a few hours later,I found my little friend had left his rusty coin on the window seal. I walked out to the yard. The girls had tied their ribbons around arms of one of the trees and wrapped it as if it was a gift to me. On another tree the boys had tied their ties intricately as if they were cryptic birds. I found the bread torn to bits but uneaten,some pieces had even been chewed. Each child had left their shoes in a line as if they had stood waiting at attention. I turned away, I found myself crying. I returned to bed and hid beneath the covers. I wondered what would become of my children?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Ocean songs



"It's all kind of some kind of ocean of some kind"

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Animal song # 115


I am no longer angry.
My limbs are now docile,
and when I return from jumping over the barricades
I go to the man who broke me.
Each time he pats his hand
against my snout,
and I bat my lashes
as he compliments my obedient grace.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A men.


I never thought loneliness could kill but here I am staring into my television night after night between these four walls with my body full of disease and I have no ears to scream into. I went back to the hookers I had slept with and they told me they were clean but I couldn't find Suzy. "Suzy," I thought "your killing me!" I asked Tiff (the black girl with the weird ass) if she knew what diseases Suzy had she laughed (can you believe that?) and said "Oh honey you poor thing she's a mixed bag she's got it all from the little warts that don't matter to the worst ones"
"The worst ones ?"
"Yeah, she gets real sick sometimes"

I went home and I killed time.
Staring into the tv I knew I wouldn't find Suzy nobody had seen her in weeks.
She was most likely dead somewhere, maybe they were holding a funeral for her somewhere in Kansas or where ever the hell she's from, where they call her Susan or Susanna and people went to school with her.

The television has turned to static.

My mind goes numb with an echoing pain,similar to when you hit your funny bone. I held my chest like a child about to cry, my eyes riding the wall searching for a friend to call out to, one who will recognize my pain. I think about my mother and my mothers funeral and how my dad fought his buddy Danny cause a couple weeks before she died he found out they had been fucking for years. My Daddy and Danny cried then they got mad at the sight of each other and they began to pummel blows there and then. The dead woman didn't stir just silent and cold like she was amongst the living. Woman are bitches, my daddy had to grow old with that shame, I don't know how long I got but Im gonna be living in shame as long as my balls burn.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Jackie

The sky was held up so high above him
his face pressed into the grass
the bottle nearly empty
Jackie had jumped the high line
with just the bottle
that he stole
he was so tired
from all the running
he could feel the bones shake in his skin
slept all the way from mississippi
to new york city
the same sky held above him
closed his mouth
and held his breathing
in the grass
he laid low,
his stomach completely empty
they saw his chest rise on a breath
he had no way of knowing
the same sky still held above him
his face pressed
into the grass

Poor People


All of us are poor,
some of us just have nicer clothes.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Gospel # 4

With my hands reaching
and my voice raised
with nothing to hold onto
I will pull the curtain down
I will resurrect the ghost
I will hold her toward the light
till we eclipse the sun

With no sense of purpose
we stomp
just to raise the dust
my white, thin fingers frailing
shape to fold a fist

I will resurrect the ghost
I will pull the curtain down
I will hold her toward the light
till we eclipse the sun

The ghost had been put away
now no longer in the dark
my body will be her host
I will guide her
through this dance
till she finds her way

I will pull her
toward my chest
I will fold her legs
with mine

and lay my head
on her breast